Just like doting parents, overprotective parents are also a reality in several homes. Many parents will deny it but some parents act like the ‘Mother Hen’ or ‘Papa Wolf’ who are constantly hovering around their kids to ‘protect’ them from the big bad world out there! Not realising that this 24×7 helicoptering and overprotection could be taking a toll on their child’s overall well-being.Dr. Arul Saravanan, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist at SRM Global Hospitals explains, “Success is often equated with strict routines, academic performance, and constant supervision. Add societal pressure and safety concerns to the mix, and overprotectiveness starts to feel like the norm.” In simpler terms, there’s a fine line between nurturing and smothering. When love wears the mask of control, children often pay the emotional bill.“From a psychological standpoint, overprotective parents are those who are too protective and safeguard their children from possible harm—physical, emotional, or social,” says Dr. Saravanan, “But when a parent’s anxiety starts to supersede their child’s need to explore, grow from mistakes, and learn through experience, it becomes domineering.”Constant CautionParenting is hard! Everybody has different parenting styles. Sometimes you handle it with a firm hand or just let it go. Dr Sarvanan explains, “Children raised in overly protective environments may struggle with poor self-esteem and impaired judgement,’’ he says. They’re often taught– consciously or not– that the world is dangerous and that they are incapable of navigating it without help.Unfortunately, this overly curated upbringing can clip a child’s wings before they’ve had the chance to spread them. Though it stems from love, it often ignores the child’s psychological and emotional growth, this can be embedded from an early age and can follow them into adulthood, limiting their ability to think independently, cope with uncertainty. “They may dodge challenges, avoid new situations, or lean heavily on others for validation and guidance,’’ adds Dr Saravanan.When children are not allowed to face reasonable challenges in life, they don’t build the confidence to handle life’s inevitable obstacles, which then makes adulthood equally difficult for them. Dr. Saravanan explains, “Over time, they may internalise a belief that their efforts have no impact—what we call learned helplessness.” Add to that the stress of constant surveillance and restricted autonomy, and you’ve got a recipe for anxiety, depression, and in the long term, even physical issues like cardiovascular problems.Emotional ArmourResilience isn’t born—it’s built. We as parents need to expose our children to emotional discomfort, adjustments, and rejection. since when they are denied certain things. They grow into adults who struggle to manage emotions under pressure. “They might shutdown, lash out,’’ states Rita Fernandes, a psychologist.The effects of this emotional fragility often surface during critical developmental windows, especially between the ages of 2 to 6, and again in adolescence (12 to 18 years). “In early childhood, autonomy and initiative take root. Smothering during this phase can erode confidence,” adds Veronica Lobo, a school teacher. During adolescence, young people begin seeking independence and identity. Excessive control can cause rebellion—or worse, deeply rooted self-doubt,” Lobo adds.When Boundaries BackfireWithout learning to manage stress some children may look elsewhere for control and comfort. Overpro-tected children may adopt harmful coping strategies. “Food, drugs, or isolation can become tools to soothe emotional discomfort or gain a sense of control they never had,” adds Dr Sarvanan.Parents always wish the best for their kids, but they also need to learn when to step down from the pedestal so that their kids take control of their responsibilities. Do you micromanage your child’s day? If he or she doesn’t pick up at the first ring, do you keep calling themback-to-back? Saying NO more out of fear of logic? These could bereasons either for your childrento depend on you or rebel against you. “Overinvolvement, extreme anxiety about failure, and a child’s overdependence on parental reassurance are key signs that autonomy is being stifled,” says Veronica.The Balance BeamSo the bigger question is, how do parents dial down the tone a notch? There is a balance we need to maintain where we hold on just enough to keep them grounded, but also allow them to slack where they can. Parents need to create a safe space for their kids. You need to be there by their side for support. But they need to fall in order to learn how to rise and shine. By creating a secure environment where your child can feel supported to come and tell you things instead of hiding them. This allows them to feel empowered to make age-appropriate decisions and yes this includes even mistakes. You are not only standing by your child but you allow them to depend on them. “Let them know you’re there—not to catch them every time—but to help them stand back up,” says Fernandes. As the stakes of modern parenting rise—with more competitive schools, unsafe environments, and helicopter comparisons on social media—the impulse to control every move only grows stronger. But in reality, children don’t need perfect parents. They need space to stumble, stretch, and self-correct.
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