Now look at our Dear Leader’s latest tantrum in Punjab. He got stuck in a traffic jam (in a bulletproof car, mind you) because of a few unarmed protestors ahead, and has been alternating between weeping and breathing fire and brimstone since. Which reminds me of a favourite childhood poem about a beetle in a jam. I’ve tweaked it a bit:The Dear Leader got stuck in a traffic jam,He sobbed, don’t the meanies know who I am?Then, he expected 70,000+ fans at his speech,But only 700 bored stragglers turned up, sheesh!So, his SPG took the cry baby home in his pram.Once at Bathinda airport, the Dear Leader told officials between gasping sobs, “Thank your CM, at least I reached Bhatinda airport alive.” The PMO sprang into action (most likely in consultation with some regressive TV soap producer). Ministers were ordered to hold press conferences condemning the “security breach”. Debates were held on news channels over the threats to the Dear Leader’s life, and the usual shameless news anchors honked into their hankies while their favourite panelists outraged in support of the cry baby.While his supporters wept, normal Indians laughed till tears rolled down their cheeks. A tweet by @tractor2twitr (a social media handle run by farmers to campaign against farm laws) put it rather well: “Only 700 out of 70,000 chairs were occupied. Accept the reality @narendramodi, Punjab has rejected you.” Soon after, a wonderful hashtag sprang to life on Twitter: #70000kursi700bande
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