To clear a misunderstanding and get back with her besties Rhea (Apoorva Makhija) and Sahira (Aaliyah Qureishi), Pia tells them she is in a relationship. The problem? There is no guy. She then goes hunting for a fake boyfriend and meets Arjun Mehta (Ibrahim). Arjun is exactly what Pia is looking for: a smart, good-looking swimming champion of a hunk. When he walks into a party, people whisper that he looks like a ‘nawab’ (Geddit? Geddit?). He can even become the captain of a debate team by showcasing his washboard abs.Pia and Arjun strike a deal. She will pay him Rs 25,000 a week to be her boyfriend. A hefty sum even for a Dharma schoolboy. Rich girl meets scholarship student, Nadaaniyan is actually Student of the Year (2012) dipped in Gen Z aesthetics. To make her relationship seem legit, Pia proceeds to “soft-launch” Arjun on her social media. That includes clicking photos of him where his face is not seen. All of these scenes are executed with such dead plainness you sometimes wonder if the story is being told in bullet points. Then this happens, then this, and then this.I am not saying I went into Nadaaniyan expecting pathbreaking cinema. What is disappointing is that there isn’t any effort to tell a story. The Shauna Gautam directorial often feels like a fan fiction of a Dharma film. There is even no silly fun or frolic that once made Bollywood movies seem adorable. Every emotion feels plain and plastic, merely existing to prod the film ahead. The film is often self-aware about being bad and expects that this knowledge can gain it some “meta” points. It doesn’t.What Nadaaniyan is trying to sell is Ibrahim Ali Khan. And I can report that the Pataudi scion, however jerky he may be in his dialogue delivery, has some charm. Ibrahim and Khushi together, however, double up the mediocrity. The latter is still robotic in her diction and expressions. The supporting cast of experienced actors like Suniel Shetty, Mahima Chaudhary (I got some cheap thrill seeing them together after Dhadkan (2000)), Dia Mirza, and Jugal Hansraj offer some saving grace.Nadaaniyan is touted as a teen rom-com, a coming-of-age story. It’s a genre that fills even the most cynical of viewers with some hope and happiness. I, however, could only feel dread while watching the film. A numbness, a sense of doom. The film seems to be a product put together only to attract an audience. It drops the benchmark so low that any other film after this, even remotely better, might feel like a cinematic leap. It’s sad that in the Hindi film landscape of today, even the basics have become a luxury.
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